January 2008
96 posts
Japanese firm offers "heartache leave" for staff -... →
Lovelorn staff at a Japanese marketing company can take paid time off after a bad break-up with a partner, with more “heartache leave” on offer as they get older. And I ask yet again, why do I not live/work in Japan? There, not only would my 5’2” frame permit me to actually have eye contact on occasion, but I would get a day per year for my heartache.
List: 25 Memories From My Past →
Time for another list. I was going to do a list of 25 Things I’m Really Effin’ Stressed About … but that list made me sound neurotic … and I was only up to 14 when I realized how effin’ neurotic I sounded (by the time I got to 25, I would have been a prime candidate for a lobotomy), so I bagged that list. This one should be a little more chipper. 25 Memories From My...
From the "Not Exactly What I Needed to Effin Hear"...
Fat Gay (Frenemy): Oh my gosh, I have the perfect guy for you!
Me: Actually, I'm kind of seeing someone.
FG: Ohhh ... you have to tell me.
Me: [Redacted syrupy nonsense.] ... in fact, the only thing wrong with him is the fact he's moving to L.A. in two weeks.
FG: L.A.? You know that's not off the Redline, right?
Me: Yeah. We're gonna do the long distance thing.
FG: Ohh ... gotcha. Ok, well, when that falls apart -- and it WILL -- call me. I've got the perfect guy for you.
Me: Um ... thanks?
“I would describe this day as effervescent. I fell out of my bed screaming when...”
– Diablo Cody on her Oscar nod. (Adding this to my list of reasons to have a girl-crush on Diablo Cody.)
I Am Neither Tougher Than a Treadmill, Nor... →
So I bit the treadmill at the gym tonight, proving once and for all that I am not, in fact, immune to the effects of gravity. I got to the gym all ready to do some badassssss hills on the treadmill (because I’m a badass), and to my delight, there was an empty treadmill just waiting for me when I arrived at they gym to do my sweaty business. I saw it from across the room, and it seemed to be...
Truemors :: Obese Men at Risk for Shrinking Penis →
Health columnist and Florida surgeon Dr. J. has an fascinating and terrifying look at the effects of obesity in men, including a discussion on the little talked about fact that when men gain weight, abdominal fat changes testosterone to estrogen that remains stored in all that extra fat. The result? A dwindling “Mr. Happy” that even later dieting can’t resurrect…or erect for that matter! Diet now...
The Presurfer: No More LOL →
No More LOL has been established to abolish the ever-present lie that is LOL. Over the past decade it has become increasingly obvious that countless web users are misrepresenting themselves by typing LOL when they are not actually laughing out loud. Honestly, I prefer a good “hahaha” over a fake “LOL” any day. It’s never a lie. When I’m typing...
Knock-knock Joke from Kate Grace
KG: Knock Knock ...
Me: Who's there?
KG: NOT HEATH LEDGER!
Me: Oh, no no no ... too soon! I call joke foul. JOKE FOUL!
Good News & Bad News
K: I have good news and I have bad news ...
Me: Bad news first (always bad news first).
K: I have a crushed disk in my back.
Me: Oh ... that's totally shitty.
K: I know. It effin hurts.
Me: So what's the good news?
K: I got it from having sex.
Me: Nice. There's no injury like a sex injury.
Talking to Myself (Having Another of "THOSE" Days)
Me: You're talking to yourself again.
Me: Yeah, but you started it.
reveries.com :: Youth Bashing →
The idea that the younger generation is self-absorbed is at least as old as Plato, but some researchers are saying it’s as big a myth as Narcissus, reports Stephanie Rosenbloom in The New York Times (1/17/08). Some 2,400 years ago (as baby boomers no doubt remember like it was yesterday), Plato said: “The children now love luxury … They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show...
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a...”
– Robert A. Heinlein (via cowboyo) I feel good in that I’m over 50% there. Don’t know about the “die gallantly” bit, but I suppose I’ll be able to check that off the list at some point in the future.
“Mexico City has started a women-only bus service to protect female passengers...”
– Mexico City starts grope-free buses for women | Reuters Wow. I don’t even know where to start — both with the problem and the “solution.”
Conversation #698,432 I Never Thought I'd Have:... →
(In bed with the radio on, immediately after hearing a blurb about genocide on NPR.) MD: That’s what I want to do. I want to do genocide. Me: You want to do genocide? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. MD: Why do you always mock my dreams? That’s not right. You’re supposed to build me up. Me: I’m supposed to support you and your dreams of...
Why We Flirt -- TIME →
Scientists call all these little acts “contact-readiness” cues, because they indicate, nonverbally, that you’re prepared for physical engagement. (More general body language is known as “nonverbal leakage.” Deep in their souls, all scientists are poets.)
“- Do you remember us making shrinky-dinks? Weren’t those totally rad?
- No, I...”
– mikeschramm.com » Blog Archive » Daniel Schramm, Interviewed I must befriend these gents immediately.
I'm a Rotten Fan ... I'll Work on That →
So I’m a rotten fan of Jeffrey Brown’s. I’ve adored his work ever since I first picked up Clumsy in college. But I’m a very haphazard fan. I don’t stalk him — or any of the other artists, musicians, bands, writers, etc. who I claim to adore — and I feel guilty sometimes about my lack of attentiveness as a fan. For instance, I had no idea until today that...
“I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think...”
– 15 Things Kurt Vonnegut Said Better Than Anyone Else Ever Has Or Will | The A.V. Club
“As a rule, I always keep a bottle of mezcal with me, you know, the distilled...”
– south of disorder And I thought I was the only one …
“Rarely have I rooted for a monster with such enthusiasm.”
– Cloverfield - Movie - Review - New York Times Ouch.
Suit alleges patient's toes were licked during eye... →
“A woman filed suit Wednesday against a Skokie eye doctor and the doctor’s former assistant, alleging the assistant licked her toes during an eye-exam visit last year.”
And all Lenscrafters ever does is shoot puffs of air at my retina. I want my money back!
Sleeping & Dreaming: Test your Tiredness →
It says I’m tired. In retrospect, I kind of knew that without spending the two minutes taking the test.
“Student #1: Do you need this one?
Student #2: No, I have HIV — I just...”
– Overheard Everywhere | More Overheard Quotes (Page 2)
On Cheating →
No … it’s not what you think. So yesterday, as part of my work/play on the book I’m making, I was printing off tiny pictures of ninjas and tracing them (no … really) and was going to put the tracings in the book. I had three little ninjas traced when I felt the tiniest little twinge of guilt. Here I am supposedly crafting this book … and tracing ninjas that I resized...
Seven Blunders of the World →
The Seven Blunders of the World is a list that Mahatma Gandhi gave to his grandson Arun Gandhi, written on a piece of paper, on their final day together, not too long before his assassination. The seven blunders are: * Wealth without work * Pleasure without conscience * Knowledge without character * Commerce without morality * Science without humanity * Worship without sacrifice * Politics...
OCD -- Annoying But Clever →
So I was sitting at my desk … minding my own business and enjoying an afternoon M&M snack. M&Ms are one of my few remaining candy weaknesses. I have this particular way of eating them: I eat them one at a time. And I never chew. I dissolve them. It can literally take me all afternoon to eat a small handful of these puppies. So I’m sitting at my desk, really enjoying my little...
Playing Doctor With My Inner Artist →
As part of my “being creative should be fun, let’s play” initiative, I’ve started work/play on a book of collage images. Originally the idea was to just be absurd (and there will, of course, be some intermittent absurdity, to be sure), but a narrative kind of naturally emerged from my story board (legal pad with doodles), and I’m just going to run with it. I think...
Let's Talk About Tumblr ...
S: i'm addicted to tumblr
S: is there a 12-step program for this?
A: seriously right?
A: it's so awesome
S: i play with it ALL DAY
A: it's def one of my new favorite thing ever
S: i tried to turn my friend K onto it
A: i scour the internet just looking for stuff to put on my tumblr
S: she called it "redundant" and now we're not speaking
S: you don't talk about tumblr that way
S: not on my watch
A: haha that's the new tagline: tumblr, turning friends against one another
S: i might tumbl that!
S: heh heh heh
S: addicted, guilty
A: i feel like a drug dealer. like i got you hooked and now you need more.
S: and if i keep this up (tumbling into the wee hours of the night, etc.) i'm totally going to look like a junkie
S: your fault
S: you can buy me multivitamins and skin cream to make up for it
A: i'll just have to find the next "drug" to get you hooked on. tumblr is the gateway blogging tool you know?
A: i bought you some centrum last night. it's in the mail already
Things to Do File #967,286: Learn How to Wink... →
To my knowledge (and with some confirmation from dictionary.com) “horkily” is not actually a word, but it’s the best word I’ve been able to come up with that accurately describes my most recent attempt at winking sexily. Look at that sloppy form. The mouth agape, eye pressed shut with force instead of an eyelid all a-quiver with anticipation of hotness to come. I am (at...
“Is there any kind of buttsex other than SURPRISE buttsex?”
– ..:Things My Boyfriend Says:.. HI-larious. I’d keep him around for the one-liners, but have to sedate him on a regular basis.
Digital Bubblewrap →
For people like me who can’t get enough of bubblewrap … point, click, pop. Oh yeah.
